She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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