I'm so fucking centered right now
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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