Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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