His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
