Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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