i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
