its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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