So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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