I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
