love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
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