I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
