I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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