I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my shit smells like andre
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize