He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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