I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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