I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
