I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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