So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So here I am, sexting at work.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
