Me too!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
