there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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