Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Girls should come with a carfax report
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
