were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
