So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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