he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
