If i come over, it means nothing
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I deserve this hangover.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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