if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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