I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
