Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
