Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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