That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
