It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
