she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
