I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize