haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
