Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
