A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
