i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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