omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
