he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just want to make out with him forever
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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