Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
