I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
