Are we in a gay sports bar?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize