I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
