New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
