I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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