Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
