Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
