Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
