Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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