There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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