its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
