I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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