Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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