I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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