where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
