I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
