We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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