Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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