Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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