So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
