I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
