similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
