its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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