I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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